I’ve mentioned before that I try to instill giving in the Little Guy. It’s a relatively easy task because he’s clearly wired with a generous spirit. But still, he’s 5, so it’s often a work in progress.
Last year, we started the strategy of asking his friends for donations at his birthday party and leaving the presents to his family. He was on board — at 4, he was still pretty open to suggestion. This year we weren’t sure, though, because he’d had a few more birthday parties under his belt. But the kid was on board, especially when he knew he was getting presents from his family, and he loved the idea of asking his friends to help him be a hero for his birthday.
We decided to go with Harvesters and ask his friends to bring food donations instead of presents. It had so many benefits — we could invite as many kids as we wanted, and parents didn’t have to stress over what to get him … and I didn’t have to stress over where we were going to put all the stuff. And because the “actual” gifts were coming from the people who know him best, the gifts were going to be things that meant the most to him. I even invited some kids I might not have otherwise, because it was only about coming to play with the Little Guy and eat cake — no pressure, no reciprocity.
Of course there’s the basic lesson we are teaching him about generosity and the expectations of gifts, which was the reason we wanted to do this in the first place.
But then at the party, something happened. A mom showed up with her daughter and a gift bag. I started to scold the mom for bringing a gift, and she said, “No, no! It’s just the food. It’s still a gift; why not wrap it?” This was a kid who was at his party last year, too, and the mom said, “I love that your son does this. So does she. In fact, on our way here, she said, ‘Mommy, on my next birthday, I want to do what Little Guy does. I don’t want presents; I want my friends to help me collect food, too!'”
I was taken aback for a second. Here I was, instilling a lesson in my son and feeling so proud of him for feeding his community, and I never though about the ripple effect it could have in other directions. The Little Guy was planting seeds of generosity with his friends, too. That means that our one act of kindness had the potential to double!
We’ll see how long we can sustain this tradition. It could be something that just becomes a part of him, or he could decide one year that he’s over it and wants to have a “traditional” birthday party. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. But this year, I’m proud to include my kid on this list once again. I’m proud to see him take joy in being a hero with his friends and not cry for more gifts. I’m proud that his willingness to do so had a positive effect on his friend. I’m proud of him for choosing to make the world a little better.
And, perhaps a bit selfishly, I’m proud that Hubs and I had the courage to plant this seed and watch it spread.
One Hundred Kind 