No. 14: Play Dates

The last leg on the week we gave Erin was a girls night out. And of course, it wasn’t without it’s moments.

The plan was for my Hubs and Tammy’s Hubs to take all the kids (Little Guy, Little Erin, Little Tammy and her Little Brother) on a play date to allow  us a girls’ night and Erin’s Hubs a night off, as well. He could hang with friends, walk the dog, or sit on a park bench and enjoy the silence for a minute. And truth be told, Tammy and I have been trying to trick our hubs into friendship for some time now, so it was also a play date disguised as a man date (shh, don’t tell).

We had the plan in motion. I had taken the day off work for Christmas Cookie Day with Little Guy, and Tammy had the afternoon off for the kids’ visit with Santa. Hubs was to meet me at Erins for a Little-Guy-Little=Erin pass-off, and he’d meet Mr. Tammy at the designated spot.

But just as I was leaving the house, the group text came through that Little Brother had projectile vomited all over the Christmas Village at Bass Pro, and Mr. Tammy was taking the brood home for cleanup and damage control. They were out. Man Date cancelled.

Selfishly, after about 8 straight hours of cookie making with Little Guy, if I didn’t get my margarita and hour of girl time, I might’ve gone into preschool-grade meltdown mode (Let’s be honest — Cookie Day starts out with excitement and wonder, but it ends with pasty, flour-filled tears…and that just makes the kid start crying, too). And realistically, I feared what horrors faced Erin if she had to tell Little Erin — and Mr. Erin — their play dates were also off. Surely, we were facing heartbreak and meltdowns all around.

Have no fear. My Hubs was here. I swear the man might actually have walked into Erin’s house in a cape. Well, at least he did in my eyes. He took Little Guy and Little Erin to the play date and allowed the girls to go out and Mr. Erin to drink beers with his brother in peace.

We loaded Erin into the back seat of her car and rolled — quite literally — into the Mexican restaurant up the street. Let me tell you, after a full day of cookie baking, carefully maneuvering through a crowded restaurant a wheelchair that holds a shattered knee  is like playing a grownup version of “Operation,” only instead of a buzzer, you’ll hear your dear friend shriek if you bump the sides.

We escaped dinner and the restaurant unscathed, but the parking lot was a whole new challenge. Tammy and I realized that we  hadn’t paid enough attention to Mr. Erin when he broke down the wheelchair and loaded it into the car. Erin, a woman used to running the show, had to suffer talking us through how to remove the leg rest attachment while we looked like a couple of monkeys pawing at a new toy from the zookeeper. After six or so tries, we finally got it, ended by a cry of, “It’s not our fault! It was locked!” from me.

Meanwhile, Hubs sat and watched the kiddos play and enjoyed not having to talk to any other grownups, Mr. Tammy successfully got the Little Tammies to bed without incident, and it was Miller Time in a stress-free house for Mr. Erin.

The stars lined up, and everyone went to bed happy and exhausted…Erin, of course, looking at her Christmas lights.

No. 11: The Care Package

As I mentioned, my injured friend will have a lot of prominence on this list. Poor Erin…I’m sure there a million other things she’d rather be than fodder for my 100 acts of kindness. Oh well, as long as she needs it, I’ve got it to give.

I need to mention that my sweet friend Tammy is in on these next few, too. Their Little Girls make up half of the Little Guy’s crew, and we’ve all grown pretty close.

Earlier this week, I got to see Erin, and she pretty much burst into tears immediately. The site of a friend — and the first opportunity to be out of the house in weeks — was more than she could bear. Can you imagine? Just seeing a friendly face bringing you to tears.

So Tammy and I went into cahoots, but this thing ended up with more moving parts than this morning’s stalled Orion launch.

Tonight, Erin will get a “laid up in bed with nothing to do” care package that includes Chex mix, chocolate, Pepperidge Farm cookies, some chick flicks, a little science experiment that involves candy (to do with her daughter) and a couple cute little books. Hubs is taking Little Guy and Little Erin to choir practice tonight, so he’ll pass the gift on to Erin’s Hubs.

Thanks to a holiday happy hour that ran long (don’t judge me), I wasn’t able to pick up Tammy’s contribution, so this morning she left it in Little Guy’s daycare cubby for Hubs to pick up before delivering it to Erin’s hubs who will then deliver it to Erin (I’m out of breath).

I got this note from Tammy this morning:

“Little Tammy was proud to have the responsibility of taking a bag of books to Little Guy’s cubby for his dad to take to Little Erin’s dad to give to Little Erin’s mom to make her leg feel better.”

Sometimes kindness is a comedy of errors, but we’re getting it done. I love friendship!

No. 10: The Plant List

My kid.

He dug up a clipboard from the bottom of his toy  box, and it became the latest obsession.

On the way home one night, he informed me that he wanted to make a “naughty and nice list” for Santa on his clipboard. I informed him that Santa’s list was not for him to decide, and making one was like being a tattle-tail.

Next thing I know, he’s asking me to help him create a list of “people who get a plant.” Okay. That, I can do. We started thinking up people who should get a plant. Erin (my friend with a shattered knee), Daddy, Grandma, Great Uncle Allen, his preschool teacher, among others.

Then he wants to know when we’ll deliver the plants. I’m playing along and assigning days to each name on the list. But when we got to Uncle Allen, who lives three hours away, Little Guy’s about ready to pack up the car. It was time to clarify that the Plant List is just pretend. “No, Mama,” he said. “This is a real list. For real plants. Everyone on the list gets a plant.”

Every day for a week, he came home and found his clipboard to make sure the list was still attached and ready for review.

Sunday, we finally got to put it into action. Erin texted that she was ready to get out of the house (finally home from her second surgery…which lasted 7 1/2 hours. Seven. And a half.) and was planning to be at the kids’ choir practice that night. We stopped by the store and picked up two poinsettias, one for Erin and one for his teacher.

Erin didn’t make it out to choir, but Little Guy gave the poinsettia to Maggie to bring home to her mom. I saw Erin tonight, and she was so grateful for the gift. But she said, “Tell Little Guy thank you for the plant – or I guess I should thank Mommy.” It was a proud-mom moment to say, “Nope. That was all him.” She melted.

It’s one thing to get a random gift from a friend; it’s another thing entirely to be on the receiving end of a 4-year-old’s random act of kindness. It truly is heart-melting.

Teacher got hers a couple days late…flying solo this week, mornings are chaos. I finally stuck the thing in his preschool bag so I wouldn’t forget it again. When he walked in and handed it to her, she melted too.

I’m going to share credit on this one. I could have let the preschool-level attention span win, but I was so impressed at his idea that I’m doing my best to keep it alive. I’ll be honest, this one’s going to take me a while, so expect to see this one in parts throughout the 100. But we’re going to do this. Even if we have to drive to Springfield to deliver Uncle Allen’s.

Isn’t it great when the kid is the one teaching the parent about kindness?

 

No. 1: The Date

Sometimes ideas come to you. And sometimes something so catastrophic happens that if you don’t use it as an opportunity to do something kind, well, you’re just plain lazy.

A week ago, my dear friend — who is a mom in the Little Guy’s crew — took the most unimaginable fall. She explained what happened, and it was so complicated and terrifying, I couldn’t even keep up. I know the main points and the end: Losing her balance, she tried to avoid falling on her daughter and instead landed on a concrete step (with a lot — a LOT — in between) and basically shattered her knee. After enduring a grueling surgery just to stabilize the leg, she spent three more days in the hospital. She and her husband don’t have any family in town, so her husband was left to take care of everything. I sent encouraging texts and offers to help, but of course, he wouldn’t take the offers.

I once saw a woman on a talk show describe her friend’s battle with cancer. She learned that offering to help a friend in need just means it won’t get done. It’s not about asking if you can help; it’s about helping.

I did the standard prayer request at church and dropping off a casserole –not blog-worthy, but I was proud of myself for getting the casserole together on a Sunday night and getting it delivered on Monday with a soccer game, Little Guy in tow and the Hubs out of town.

The Little guy had been begging me to take him to see  Big Hero 6, the new animated movie. Hubs was out of town this weekend, so a movie date was a perfect way to fill the day, so I invited my friend’s daughter to come along. We got up early this morning to make muffins to bring them for breakfast, too.

Food and taking the kid off their hands. Now that’s kindness!

Everyone was happy, and it felt awesome to be able to do something for them. It’s such a helpless feeling when all you’ve got is “I’m sorry,” or “Let me know what I can do.” Kindness in action is productivity at its best!

We did have our little setbacks, though. A quick and dirty review of Big Hero 6: From what I got to see, it’s a good movie, but not for a 4-year-old girl going through a crisis at home. Little Guy loved it, but his poor girlfriend sat nestled under my arm, afraid of the bad guy. When she started to full-on tremble, it was time to call it quits, and I was able to bribe the Little Guy into leaving the theatre about halfway through.

We hit Chick Fil A for lunch, and I promised they could play in the indoor playground, too. Poor little girlfriend ended up getting a bellyache, so we cut from there, too. Honestly, with everything she’s going through, she could have gone straight to meltdown city. But she was poised and polite through it all. I was so proud of her!

So, the day didn’t go exactly how the Little Guy expected, and he felt a little gypped (if anyone was headed to meltdown city, it was the one who had no reason to, of course). I just kept reminding him that this is what being a good friend looks like. Fingers crossed that it sank in.

I’m happy with No. 1. I gave a couple in turmoil some time to breathe, a little girl a chance to go on an outing, and my son a lesson in being a good friend. I can’t promise the next 99 are going to be this big. That said, I have a feeling this family will have prominent spot on the list, as she is awaiting her second surgery and will be using a walker for several months.

There will be lots of chances to offer help. I hope I can remember to just help.